Episode begins with the base commander, COL Patrick Quinn, CPT Maggie Quinn, his daughter, and MAJ Abraham Shah going out to the base courtyard. They see the Dutch civilian workers relaxing, playing games and doing nothing. COL Quinn finds this unacceptable. He’s incapable of doing that being the career soldier he is. CPT Quinn was used to it, since she was the base commander before he came. She says the civilians are great at niksen, the art of doing nothing. At that moment, one of the US soldiers, Corporal Papadakis, kicks a hacky sack at the colonel to get him to join them. He says it’s good for mental health. The colonel takes it and angrily throws it away, and tells the corporal that’s good for his mental health. The colonel orders MAJ Shah to stop the “doing nothing” before it spreads to his troops. MAJ Shah says he’s on it, changing an entire country’s work ethic is not a problem. His daughter disagrees.
COL Quinn spots his Dutch translator, Jan, playing with a hula hoop, and asks him if he’s high at work. Jan says he’s not anymore, because he’s coming down very slowly, and trying to hoop it all out. COL Quinn happily fires him on the spot. CPT Quinn halts the colonel’s joy by telling him all Dutch citizens employed over three years can’t be fired since they are tenured. Jan continues hula hooping. COL Quinn is still irked about niksen and watches from his office window, trying to find a way to stop it. In walks MAJ Shah who’s been researching Dutch labor law. He tells him it’s almost impossible to fire someone in the Netherlands. Even a substandard employee gets three strikes Jan only has two.
CPT Quinn comes in and irks her Dad more by telling him the civilians get unlimited sick days, too. COL Quinn asked the major how many sick days he took last year, and he said zero and he loves America!COL Quinn says nothing’s more important than work. Maggie’s upset because he forgot about her, his family. COL Quinn plans to stalk Jan to catch him if he messes up again, then fire him and make an example of him for all the other civilians. The next day, COL Quinn watches from his window, and sees Jan bump into Private BA with his bicycle. Jan helps him up. Quinn sees it as Jan running over an American soldier and takes him to court.
MAJ Shah welcomes the judge, Hendrick, to the courtroom. Hendrick is confused and asks why there’s an audience. The colonel comes over and Hendrick says it is just a mediation not a trial. The colonel wanted to jazz it up like the “A Few Good Men” movie. Hendrick liked that movie and is fascinated with the gavel he gives him. He calls it a war hammer and is loving that!CPT Quinn tells MAJ Shah the courtroom drama may be too much. Shah says no and he spent all night prepping. Jan enters the courtroom. COL Quinn begins his deliberation and recounts Jan’s three strikes.
Jan tells everyone how he hit PVT BA (Private Dumby). Jan says PVT BA was failed by the education system. In the Netherlands, bicycles always have the right-of-way. He steps down. COL Quinn points out Jan admitted to hitting the victim. Jan asks CPT Quinn to help him with the colonel. COL Quinn scares everyone in the courtroom by threatening overtime for everyone. CPT Quinn stands up and objects. Judge Hendrick doesn’t know why because he’s enjoying the courtroom antics. CPT Quinn volunteers as Jan's defense lawyer. Her Dad’s shocked. CPT Maggie’s reviewing Jan’s personal information when Corporal Papadakis sits down and asks to join her law firm. He says he knows about law. His experience consists of binging Law and Order. COL Quinn continues his deliberation and recalls Jan to the stand. MAJ Shah gave him some leave requests documents that the colonel said were fraudulent. CPT Quinn cross examines and gets Jan to explain his reasons for taking multiple paternity leaves.
The colonel calls PVT BA to the stand, and he gives his version of the accident. CPT Maggie lets CPL Papadakis cross examine him. He announces that BA is lying, and was never at the gym. PVT BA confesses he lied, but points to 1SG Conway to explain. They put Conway on the stand and she says they were filming a Tik Tok, because she made BA a minor celebrity in Malaysia, Leather Pants Man. She’s making a lot of money off this. Conway didn’t tell Papadakis, cuz he can’t dance. Papadakis shows her what she’s missing. MAJ Shah shows COL Quinn the Tik Tok which he enters as evidence. They put it on screen, and it shows the moment Jan ran into BA. COL Quinn gloats. Hendrick says they will reconvene in the morning. That night, MAJ Shah meets with CPT Quinn to help her with her case. They don’t see the colonel outside. The next day, CPT Quinn called MAJ Shah to the stand, but the colonel sent him on a spa vacation. She calls COL Quinn next. CPT Maggie meets with Conway during break and asks her to get all her Dad’s financial documents. CPT Quinn asks COL Quinn if he hates Jan, and the fact that Jan puts his family first.
This is a reference to her life. She makes him admit he’s proud of her. 1SG Conway brings the financial books to compare how much was spent on bike repair. They make the colonel ride one of the base bikes and he crashes. Jan’s bike failed to stop because the brakes failed. The judge’s verdict is Jan’s not guilty and his employment continues indefinitely. Everyone cheers! CPT Maggie tries to get her Dad to say he’s proud of her again, but he won’t budge. MAJ Shah returns and shows CPT Maggie his pics in Conway’s secret store room. COL Quinn broods in a chair nearby as he makes a list of his enemies in his head.
This show is cutely hilarious! The characters and their situations make it so.
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